A stroll through the Britzer Gardens in southern Berlin was the aesthetic highlight of a weekend filled with bar mitzvah tasks, household chores, and the usual mishaps and disputes between the kids. With over 200 types of dahlias in full bloom, we were treated to a spectacular show of color that soothed our jangled nerves. I think we can now handle the home stretch of bar mitzvah planning and clothes shopping without a full family meltdown.
Avery's bar mitzvah kippah
Avery will become a bar mitzvah in less than three weeks and I feel a sense of pride and wonder that he is on the threshold of such a significant event. As a “son of the commandments” Avery will be well prepared to lead a Jewish life and to make responsible adult choices. By choosing to have his bar mitzvah in Berlin, Avery will help a new generation of our family take its place in Germany’s growing Jewish community (see Becoming a Bar Mitzvah in Berlin’s Jewish Orphanage). His bar mitzvah, on the anniversary of my father’s, will forge a link to the past and lead our family on a new path to the future. Coming at the same time as the approval of our German citizenship, I feel a greater sense of comfort as a resident of the country that my parents were forced to flee.
I’ve always been a little jealous of people who have had a bar or bat mitzvah, mostly because of their ability to read Hebrew and to accurately recite the prayers that sound so beautiful and that I still struggle with. I envy their participation in a rite of passage that I never went through. Maybe I am not religious because I just don’t know how to be religious, was never properly initiated into my own religion, and still feel somewhat like an outsider when I sit with my community in a synagogue. Getting older only increases my sense of discomfort (I should know this stuff by now!).
Perhaps I will be inspired by my son and decide to have my own bat miztvah. Perhaps not. At least I will feel comfortable choosing to have this rite of passage either in the U.S. or Germany. And I will admire my son for the courage he’s shown in making his own choices.
Mazel Tov to Avery on becoming a Bar Mitzvah and to you for reclaiming your German identity! Wish we could celebrate with you all. — Linda Nallick
Thanks so much, Linda. I wish we could have been there for Benji’s bar mitzvah as well. We’ve missed so many major events back in Bozeman!
Congratulations to all of you! I”m just catching up on your blog and didn’t even realize you had all moved to another apt.!
Thanks, Phyllis…….wish you could be with us for the bar mitzvah!